I want you more than these girls want KFC
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
