They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
