Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
