I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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