Please, let me fuck your mom
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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