Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I'm passing your future prison.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
