I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
We need to get me chipped asap
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
