susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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