I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
