I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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