Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
