Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Randomize
