youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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