I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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