now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
