Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
