drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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