Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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