so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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