i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
