I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize
