I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
