i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
