dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
