Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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