I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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