so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
