I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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