How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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