I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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