how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I can feel your judgement through the phone
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
