I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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