i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
