I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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