come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
