I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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