Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
