Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize