Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
