and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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