hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I'm lost and stupid without you.
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
