ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
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