he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
