i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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