I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
this beer tastes like vomit already
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
He has the fingertips of a God
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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