dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
