please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
