coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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