Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
