haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
